Love, Life, Blogging, and Change
Hey guys and welcome to a brand new blog post. I know, I know… I bet you’re wondering….why haven’t you been blogging? Well, the answer is simple…. I have just been super busy. Busy with my personal life, busy with work, and busy with everything in between. Trust me, I know that’s not the greatest excuse but it is what it is. If you have been reading this space for a while, then you know how difficult it has been to balance this space amongst the many changes that are happening in life right now. However, at the end of the day, writing is my first love and I cannot picture myself ever giving up on this space. Yes, there may be a bit of radio silence from time to time but I will always be here, pouring my heart out in one way or another. With that being said, let’s discuss some obvious changes that I have added to my website shall we? PS: and some other life musings as well…
I was telling my (then) partner that I really wanted to start my blog…..
My long-time readers know I have been blogging for almost 10 years now (OMG), and it is safe to say I have truly evolved as a person. I’ll never forget the day I wanted to start my blog. It was in the year 2014, and I was telling my (then) partner that I really wanted to start my blog. As always he was pretty supportive and told me to “just go for it” and I did. Over the next few years, we would spend LOTS of money on templates, youtube banners, and of course my long-standing thrift habit (ha). But a lot has changed since that young age of 24 years old. I am now 32 years old, I have a Masters's degree, I work full-time as a copywriter, and my interests and personal life has taken a drastic change. My relationships have changed, friendships, and every other “ip” you can think of. But at the core of my being, I am still just “Carey”… that girl who loves to dance, drink coffee, read, and find cute things in the thrift store. And honestly, I don’t think that will ever change about me. I think that’s what I will always be interested in…however, as time has gone on…. I do feel as though my website needed a bit of a “refresh”. I would love for this space to reflect who I am as a writer more, and show more of my resume. Because at the end of the day, this is a job for me. It’s no longer “some small part of the internet that I babble on”. It’s my longest passion project, and it is the one thing that has yet to let me down. Of course, I will still share my thoughts in a “diary format” because I obviously LOVE to chat….but there is more to my story that I would like to share, so stay tuned for that…
Ok soooo, here’s the thing. I have been going through many changes in my personal life AGAIN. Obviously, this happens to everyone but I feel like this happens to me more often than not. Anyways, that’s not the point. Do you guys remember when we were in middle school and we would all dream about what life would be like at 25? I remember this moment vividly because all of my friends (including myself) thought we would have a home, three kids and be married to our one true love. When I look back on those moments, I truly realize how deranged that thought was. Now that I look back on it, I was too terrified to get married anywhere in my 20s. I was too busy dancing, having fun, and “finding” myself as a person. When I look back on how I spent my 20’s I wouldn’t change it for the world. I was comfortable there, and I was given the space to really nurture the person I am today. Yeah, some people may call me “spoiled” or “sheltered” but what’s wrong with thriving under the protection of your loved ones? Absolutely nothing. I used to take offense to those words but I don’t anymore, especially once I learned the type of people that were saying those things to me. We have two totally different mindsets, through processes and upbringings… so of course we wouldn’t agree on different lifestyles. So as usual, I just let it roll off my shoulders, and I continue to be me.
I thank God every day that I am a stable-minded gal….
because some people will come into your life and try to convince you that you aren’t really living “your best life” when in actuality YOU are. If it makes you happy, then that’s all that matters.
SOOOOOO LOVE?
I remember when I first started dating, love seemed so much easier lol! You didn’t have to really think about your future, you just held hands, shared snacks, and laughed at each other’s jokes. However, we all get older and then the true colors of dating start to really show up. This is also the time when you realize you (and or) your partner may have some trauma to work through, or you’re unpacking what it means to actually support a person through “thick and thin”. Either way, this is the time I am starting to realize that the partner I choose is literally “end game, so I have to be absolutely sure that this is what I want and who I want it with. This is not the time to be soooo in love that I start missing any red flags. I don’t believe in divorce, and I really want it to be forever, but how do you know when it’s right? I thought you were supposed to feel butterflies and see an absolute sense of peace? I don’t know.. I think that’s all me operating off of emotions and it can cause a slippery slope when you’re trying to enter the next phase of life.
Oh and trust me, it doesn’t help when there are soooo many relationship gurus out there telling you what to do. Some people regret the marriage, some people say don’t marry someone with kids, some people say they “didn’t marry their first love” and all types of humanistic experiences. At the end of the day, no matter what you hear… you HAVE to make this decision on your own. You have to have your own boundaries, desires, and thoughts when it comes to finding your other half.
Don’t let anyone tell you fairytales don’t exist….
They absolutely do exist, and all it takes Is the RIGHT person to show you that. I used to think it was silly to want someone to care about you, spend time with you and write you letters all of the time. But now that I am older, I know exactly what I want in a partner. I want someone who just gets it, and I don’t have to tell them that Id like to be surprised every once in a while. I want someone who supports every little thing I do. I am an artist at heart, and I want nothing more than someone’s undying support when I say I want to live life as a mermaid tomorrow. And most of all, I want to be liked. Have you ever been in a relationship or NOTICED someone else relationship where the person is kind of…. tolerating them? Yea, I’ve been in both and it is not fun. If you’re in that type of relationship, it’s time to stand up babes. Also, I want to say don’t that as a girl, please don’t give up on other female friendships. I swear to you, I have felt the MOST love from my female friends and it really is beautiful. Plus, women are nicer, sweeter and they just understand lol!
In conclusion…
I think I have said all that I needed to say. I know this was a weird brain dump, but these can be therapeutic from time to time. Feel free to share any thoughts in the comments down below. See you in a little while…
Always Living and Forever Learning,
ShaCarey Martin
