Who would have ever guessed that I would walk across that stage and feel more lost than I did when I entered college. Like most people post-undergrad, there's this weird section of life where you wonder if your major was even worth it or if you wasted your money on this entire college thing. Grant it, I love school and I surely love education but I just couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that I wasn't happy with where I was going with my life. Yeah, my 27-year-old self probably was being very dramatic but it's how I felt at the time. You see, I changed my major one time in college and I feel like I was pretty solid in what I wanted to do since then. I majored in Dance and you better believe that I enjoyed every single minute of it. There were performances, traveling, choreography, and meeting so many wonderful people that I was very sad when it all ended but nothing prepared me for how I would feel when I finally crossed that stage. My entire LIFE I dreamed of becoming a dancer, it was my absolute passion and no one was more dedicated to the craft than me! There were so many nights of sleep that I forfeited just to perform and make rehearsals and at one point I honestly couldn't picture my life without it. But one day something strange happened....I started to grow out of it...! Grant it, you never get tired of your passion, I truly believe that it waxes and wanes like the moon and comes in phases where you'll really love it and then you'll really hate it BUT this time was different. This time I actually yearned to do something different with my life. Of course, I didn't want to throw away all of those years of training and degrees to go so I did what any former student who's trying to figure out their life would do....

I took a year-long hiatus to figure out what I wanted to do next. This wasn't an easy decision because I am a busy body by second nature and the idea of not being in school or striving toward some type of goal absolutely terrified me. Thankfully, I have family who was very supportive of my decisions and we all made the agreement that I definitely needed my own personal gap year! The funny thing is, I was totally against this and wanted to go straight into grad school but everyone around me thought this was an awful idea and I needed to take the break that I truly deserved. I don't exactly know what was making me feel against the idea but in the end, I am glad I did because now I feel like I can make clearer decisions that I wouldn't have been to make this time last year. Anyways, during my "gap year" I was able to come to terms with a lot of things about myself. I was able to evaluate myself mentally, physically, spiritually, and in every other aspect, I could think of! In reality, I was truly trying to figure out what I wanted to bring to this world and how was I going to execute that plan successfully. You see, I am 28 years old and I feel like I don't have time for any more "what if" plans! I need to be able to see the vision, go after it and then kill it all at once! I know this may seem a bit Lion Kingish in a sense but this is kind of where I am at in my life! Ps: the more you read here the more you'll see that I'm kind of a dramatic person and it will def show through my writing skills. Ha! Anyways, on to the next portion of this story shall we? Spoiler alert: I just needed a slight career change...

Even though it may have taken me an entire year to figure out this little brain sore, I am very glad that I was able to get a bit of clarity about what I wanted to do with my life. You see, not knowing your purpose in life can be a scary thing and it will either cause you to do one of three things; coast in the abyss of the unknown, dream-hop and steal other peoples dreams, or feel like a complete loser when in reality you're not. That's why when I finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life I couldn't do anything but praise God for showing me the way and how to truly use my gift. I must say that this process was probably harder than any degree that I have ever earned because it required a deep evaluation of myself. It was also hard because it meant that I was going to have to embrace a career change at a point in my life where I really wasn't feeling it. But I think that's the entire point of "Always living and forever learning" the entire thing is a steep learning process and life is moving on wether you like it or not. That's why I have decided to "say yes to the process" and roll with all of the punches. I am finally accepting that I won't have all of the answers in life and that's going to have to be ok. The one thing I have learned out of this entire process is that it takes time to get a vision together and it will take twice as long to get ready for it. That is why I have made the conscious decision to not live my life via these imaginary timelines that are created for us to use as a guideline. I am going to use God's timing and wisdom to lead me into the direction that I know I am supposed to go in. I don't know about anyone else but I am prepared for the life ahead of me and cannot wait to get started on my new life plan! With that being said, do you have any changes happening in your life that you're afraid to embrace?

Always Living and Forever Learning,
Sha'Carey Martin